Arigatou
by Capie
Summary: Tomoyo reflects on her friendship with Sakura and struggles to understand the budding romance of Li and Sakura. Finally seeking advice from her mother, Sonomi, Tomoyo finds closure and comfort in her mix of emotions.


Arigatou  
Comments are always welcomed at smilie_smilie@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the general Card Captor Sakura story. It's the property of Clamp. This story is written as a past time. No copyright infringement intended.  
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The small town of Tomoeda was generally characterized by quiet inactivity. The typical Japanese suburban housed many small individual families where even the slightest scandalous gossip might as well be the headline news. However, tonight, Tomoeda was sparkling. Everyone who had ever heard of the name Kinomoto or Li flooded to a particular wedding celebration. The wedding followed strict Japanese protocol and tonight was the last of the two ceremonies. Actually, this was the last celebration in Japan. The couple was due in Hong Kong in the coming weeks for an even more formal Chinese joining under the close supervision of Li's strict hierarchy of the elders.  
  
Today was undoubtedly Daidouji Tomoyo's worse day in her short life. Yet, swept up in all the good cheer, the young woman could not help but to smile brightly. Ever polite, gentle, and sweet, Tomoyo had been recognized as the pillar that supported the couple from their earliest days. After all, it was her that advised Li some fifteen years ago to confess to Sakura and it was her that encouraged Sakura to find her true feelings towards the boy. Yet, today, she had found nothing to cheer for. Not even a glimpse of hope existed for her. There was not even an ounce of triumph in her heart that the couple finally wound together. Tomoyo had hit the depths of depression.  
  
Tomoyo paid little attention to her surroundings and the happenings. She had stopped liking Japanese weddings in her adolescence years. She used to dream of them where she could dress in fancy frilly and cute kimonos. The wedding would not be romantic but sweet and happy. Then, there was Sakura, in a pink dress that she would have designed. Sakura's dress would be equally flamboyant and draped in ribbons. Theses dreams would manifest themselves after absorbing herself in sappy romantic movies or watching one of Sakura's adventures as a card captor. However, as time moved on, it became obvious that her childhood romantic dream of such a fancy wedding would never come true.  
  
After all, Sakura never shed an eye on her the way Tomoyo had.  
  
Besides, Li Syaoran, was a perfect suitor for Sakura. Like Sakura, he had magical talents and he was equally innocent and clueless. He was bold and determined. He would never have allowed any harm to her. Li Syaoran was well brought up and understood responsibility before he knew how to walk or talk. He came from a well-to-do family back in Hong Kong and did not really have to work hard to provide for himself and Sakura. Despite their tender ages, Li was very mature. Other than straight academic accomplishments, Li was also very independent having lived away from home all his life. Li could single-handedly take care of all matters of the house, like Fujitaka. Sakura would never have to worry one bit when she lived with him. No wonder Sakura's father was so pleased with the boy.  
  
Tomoyo was different, she could not possibly provide all for Sakura. Surely, she was talented at sewing and cooking and could provide wealth for her without lifting a finger. Where Syaoran offered comfort, security and quiet, subtle tender romantic love; Tomoyo could offer Sakura an eternal friendship. Where they could both offer unconditional love to Sakura, Li's was more sentimental and Tomoyo's, well, Tomoyo's would be decorated with cute comments and fluffiness. It was more happy pinkness than romantic.  
  
Tomoyo was a beautiful girl with long curvy greyish black hair and faint lavender eyes. Her soft hair curled to her waist and held behind her face by a faded red ribbon. That ribbon was her favorite since childhood. After all, it was a birthday present from Kinomoto Sakura many years ago. Once the best of friends, now Tomoyo was a quiet distant girl that stood on the outskirts of Sakura's everyday life. She has long adopted the role of sycophant rather than an advisor to her best friend. The day she had decided to shift her role and importance to Sakura was still vivid and clear in her memory. Tomoyo closed her eyes and to hold back forming tears as she relived the last days she was still in competition for Sakura's attention and affection with Li Syaoran.  
  
Daidouji Sonomi, Tomoyo's mother had been on business trips almost every day and spent no time at home where Tomoyo faced typical teenage pains without any form of elderly guidance. Tomoyo, no stranger to loneliness, often hide her opinions and problems behind a bright smile and polite ambiguous excuses. After all, being the daughter of one of the largest Japanese multinational corporations, Tomoyo had been raised to act tenderly in front of unsuspecting eyes. Her image is her mother's image and she could not possibly misbehave at any moment. Daidouji Sonomi was the internationally renowned corporate wonder-woman: successful single woman with a keen eye on business and mothered a flawless, sweet, polite yet beautiful girl. That was, in the media's eyes, Sonomi's great legacy.  
  
However, Tomoyo had not always been alone. She had caring friends around her. Most notably, Kinomoto Sakura. Sakura was Tomoyo's best friend since the fateful day they have met in grade three. Nearly inseparable, the two would spend hours together playing, working or even partaking in Sakura's card capturing adventures. Tomoyo would film Sakura in the costumes she had designed and sewn together. Those memories were her childhood.  
  
As time passes by, many other things begin to take increasing importance in both their lives. School, particularly, kept them both immensely busy. Yet in odd times and the scarce holidays, the two best friends always found time to relive old memories and triumphant battles. Sakura would spend nights and weeks at Tomoyo's elaborate house when her brother was out working or at university while her father was at a dig site. Their friendship grew ever closer as each day passed by until Sakura's long departed beloved returned to Japan one day.  
  
Li Syaoran, as Tomoyo had reasoned, did not "steal" her Sakura away. Merely, Sakura had chose to be with him for the most part. Tomoyo certainly could not blame her best friend. After all, for the many years since Li was forced to return to Hong Kong, the two had nothing to live on other than the dream that one day they may be together. Besides, Tomoyo was always and would always remain in Japan whereas Li would sometimes be dragged back to his homeland for several weeks or months at a time. With great uncertainty, Sakura and Li made the best they could with the little time they had.  
  
Li was also more perceptive than Tomoyo had ever imagined. He would never hesitate to ask Tomoyo if she wanted to join him and Sakura whenever they met for a movie or a meal. When Tomoyo showed signs of loneliness and slight depression, Li would always make lame excuses such as being too busy to tend to Sakura or strategically leave Japan so to free up Sakura to tend to Tomoyo. Tomoyo had realized that when Li would take sudden trips to Hong Kong or spill out incoherent excuses for being busy. For that, she was very grateful and developed great respect for the boy. Tomoyo had grown to love Li almost as much as Sakura did.  
  
Yet, Tomoyo knew what Li did was out of respect for her friendship with Sakura and it was definitely hurting his relationship with his long love. Sakura had begun to suspect Li after hearing his lame excuses and having to frequently see him off to the airport back to Hong Kong. Sakura was worried that Li no longer found her appealing and was growing lonelier as the months passed on. Li, too suffered, as he became even more reclusive and spent most of his time with Sakura trying to cheer her up. He didn't like to see Sakura hurt and yet no matter what he did, he could not possibly fix the problem. Sakura was hurt when she saw Tomoyo lonely and so Li would leave to allow Sakura more time with Tomoyo. By the time Tomoyo was cheered up, Sakura would be upset because Li had been gone so long. It was a vicious cycle that drained the three of them.  
  
One day, Tomoyo just let up.  
  
Sakura was on the phone with Li almost in tears after hearing that he would stay another week in Hong Kong. She had moaned in great pain about her loneliness as tears began to drip down onto the receiver as she begged him to return swiftly. Although Tomoyo never heard Li's replies, she knew Li must have felt a slight tinge of guilt for returning to Japan knowing that once he arrived, Sakura would spend most of her time with him instead of her best friend. However, Tomoyo felt even guiltier having to see Sakura cry every time she was on the phone or how lonely she was.  
  
Sakura sincerely needed his company and not hers. Sakura would never admit she preferred to be with Li over Tomoyo but she knew that Sakura enjoyed her company like she would with her other friends like Chiharu, Rika or Naoko. No matter how much Tomoyo had wished otherwise, Sakura would never appreciate her company like she would appreciate Li's. The two shared a special rapport that not even the longest and deepest of friendships could shatter. If Tomoyo simply let the charade continue on, Sakura would plunge deeper into depression from being away from Li.  
  
Tomoyo loved Sakura, so she let Sakura find blissful happiness with Li.  
  
After Sakura replaced the receiver and went into the bathroom to clean up her watery eyes, Tomoyo quietly picked up the phone and pressed the redial button placing the call back to Hong Kong.  
  
"Wai?" asked a male voice over the phone.  
  
"Li-kun? Daidouji Tomoyo desu," Tomoyo replied quietly over the phone.  
  
"Daidouji? Is something the matter?" Li asked slightly confused. Tomoyo had never called him while he was in Hong Kong.  
  
"Ee, Sakura-chan is very upset," Tomoyo explained but Li did not reply. Instead, Tomoyo heard a scoffed sigh. "I think she needs your help," Tomoyo elaborated.  
  
"Help for what?" Li asked.  
  
"Well," Tomoyo paused, "Sakura-chan needs your help in all sorts of matter. Skaura-chan needs a sidekick to make her even cuter, prettier and more splendid than ever," Tomoyo blabbered.  
  
"What?!" Li yelled stunned at Tomoyo's response.  
  
"Sakura-chan needs your help. I am sure of it. Please come back soon or she will be very upset," Tomoyo replied in a deeper voice stressing the gravity of the situation.  
  
"Are you sure Sakura needs me around?" Li asked in a quieter voice pondering at her last statement. "I have a lot to do in Hong Kong," he strung that last phrase in making his excuse for not returning sound somewhat legitimate.  
  
"Sakura-chan would be very happy if you could come back," Tomoyo insisted.  
  
After several seconds, Li finally replied "I will try to arrange something then," before hanging up.  
  
Tomoyo replaced the receiver letting out an exasperated sigh. It was not easy convincing Li to return to Japan particularly when he was thinking for her and Sakura's sake rather than for his own deteriorating relationship. Tomoyo was surprised when she suddenly noticed Sakura peering over her shoulder bright green eyes shining with curiosity.  
  
"Tomoyo-chan, nan desu ka?" she asked studying Tomoyo's expression. "Is there something bothering you?" she probed further as her curious expression melted into one more serious.  
  
To that, Tomoyo stretched a bright fake smile and replied. "Norhing Sakura-chan!"  
  
On that, Sakura's grave expression faded away as a warm smile emerged on her face. "It's nice to see you smile so brightly, Tomoyo-chan,"  
  
So Tomoyo's mind drifts back to the present as the ceremony winds to a close. Tomoyo stood up and walked over to a quiet corner of the square room while she leaned casually against the cool wall. Japanese wedding formalities were all so complicated and ritualistic that even she thought it was too confusing and too "frilly". She much preferred the western style weddings on retrospect. Letting out a bored sigh, Tomoyo made a vow right then and there to insist on a simplistic wedding for herself. She giggled for an instant as she mused over that thought. Alas, her wedding day would never come for the person she loved had just wed. She studied around the room carefully scanning for the bride and groom.  
  
There, Li Syaoran stood tall and proud. He had the largest smile she could remember him ever displaying in public. In fact, he was grinning like an idiot. The usually quiet Li Syaoran seemed to be a bit more open today engaging in short conversations with old friends and acquaintances. His four rather energetic sisters were the entire polar opposite of him. Tomoyo had never seen the four of them quiet all together. At this point in time, their attention was divided between discussing on how kawaii their new sister-in-law was and how kawaii their brother was.  
  
The bride, always beautiful, was next to the groom. Sakura's glamourous beauty was only accentuated in traditional Japanese costumes. Her glittering green eyes could entice even the most disciplined of men to bend to her will. Her infinite fine details composed her gentle beauty so that no artist, or camera for hat matter, could ever capture her elegance on a single canvas or photograph. Her grace and innocence that kept her young forever radiated from her mere presence. She was, in Tomoyo's eyes, beauty incarnate. A slight blush rushed over Tomoyo's face as she studied each of Sakura's details memorizing her every curve and line. Her attention was suddenly interrupted as she heard a familiar voice stomping over to where she found quiet sanctuary.  
  
"How could that Kinomoto-sensei allow my precious Nadeshiko's daughter marry? Look at that boy, he's grinning like a hungry cur slobbering after Sakura-chan! He is worse than the insect that took away my Nadeshkio! Look at him! He's a buffoon! I can't believe that Kinomoto-sensei is actually smiling!" Sonomi winced as she slumped against the wall next to Tomoyo. She was staring across the room at a happy Fujitaka and Yukito. With the way the two were smiling, Tomoyo suddenly noticed exactly how alike both men were. However, Touya did not seem to share the joy of his father and his best friend. His eyes were deadlocked in a grudging stare at the groom though Li paid no attention to it. It seemed that Li was in far too good mood to even bother continuing his staring contest with his brother-in-law.  
  
Sonomi must not have known Li very well, Tomoyo decided. After all, "buffoon" and "cur" were probably the last words to describe Li Syaoran. He was smart, perceptive, kind and tender in his own subtle way. Besides, it was rare to see Li grin when most of the time he would be grumbling. He was like Yue in a way that no matter the day, they seemed to be in a perpetual bad mood. Perhaps, Li's finer qualities were what made Tomoyo respect him so much. However, she made no attempt to defend the groom against her mother's horrendous descriptions.  
  
Tomoyo crossed her arms and sighed taking an occasional side-glance at her mother. "Okaasama, what is it? Is it the work? Is it me? What keeps you going?"  
  
Sonomi looked gently down her daughter. She had been away from home too long that she missed Tomoyo growing up and facing adolescence on her own. All the motherly advice she was to give to Tomoyo was never passed. Perhaps now is too late to redeem herself as a mother, but if there were just one more opportunity to pass Tomoyo any bit of comfort, she would immediately capitalize on it. "The work is a distraction. You are my duty," Sonomi began. "What kept me going was happiness. To see the smile on her face, though painful, was worth a lifetime of want and jealousy," With that, Sonomi patted Tomoyo gently on the shoulder before leaving her daughter alone to her thoughts.  
  
Tomoyo watched her mother gracefully glide away from the wall and began towards the door of the square room making no notice to the various guests and the chattering Li sisters who were really looking at Sakura like something good to eat. Alone with that bit of advice, Tomoyo began to stare out blankly at the room. She had not even noticed when the young bride came up and stood directly in front of her gazing at her glazed lavender eyes.  
  
"Ne, Tomoyo-chan?" asked the familiar sweet and tender voice.  
  
"Nan desu ka, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked snapping back to face the girl.  
  
Sakura handed Tomoyo a bouquet of flowers. Pink Sakura blossoms in an array of other white and ivory coloured flowers. "Hai," Sakura smiled as she presented the flowers to Tomoyo.  
  
"Watashi ni?" Tomoyo asked.  
  
"Un, I don't want anyone else to have them," Sakura smiled.  
  
Tomoyo reached out and accepted the gift expecting a new surge of mixed anger, jealousy, pain and loneliness to rush through her body. She looked up to see Sakura's bright smile. She was grinning as much as Li was and perhaps, if possible, even more. Her smile could barely be contained on her face and her sheer cheeriness was simply irresistible. Sakura's happiness was enough to wipe clear of all depression and sorrow in the world.  
  
"Arigatou," Tomoyo said as she studied the bouquet.  
  
"Iie, it's me who should be thankful," Sakura replied and beamed once more.  
  
The surge of emotion never came, instead there was nothing but an overwhelming numbing calmness.  
  
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Owari!  
Comments are welcomed at smile_smilie@hotmail.com  
  
For those who don't know…  
Wai – Cantonese equivalent of moshi moshi (hello)  
~ desu – this is ~  
Ee – yes (same thing as Hai, un)  
Nan desu ka – what is it  
Kawaii – cute   
Okaasama – lady mother  
Ne – you know  
Hai – yes (or here in some contexts)  
Watashi ni – to me  
Un – yes  
Arigatou – thank you  
Iie – no   



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